Living as an Upside-Downer

The recent report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics on jobs (and cited by the White House) shows that there has been steady improvement on that front since President Obama took office. In fact, it has been a rather dramatic reversal of the trend left by his predecessor's administration. However, not everyone sees it this way.

"[President Obama is] frequently telling us that he did not cause the recession, and that’s true. But he made it worse.” (Mitt Romney-- Feb 2, 2012). The only way Mitt Romney can interpret the Bureau of Labor Statistics' data as he has is if he views the world upside down. Here's my case for thinking that Mitt Romney is an Upside-Downer.


In an upside down world corporations are people, my friends, and the very poor are climbing up from the safety nets they once fell through. In Upside-Down land everything good flows down from the very wealthy to everyone else. Time seems to travel backwards towards a Gilded Age that existed long before talk of civil rights.  It's a place where all friendly bets start at $10,000--the pocket change of its average citizen. And, in Upside-Down land an endorsement from Donald Trump has value. It is a land in which its president is asked to prove his patriotism and citizenship AFTER he has been elected. In this land you get a tax break if you are in the 1% but otherwise pay more. Plus, if you happen to work for the government you may be asked to give up your job in order to improve the jobless rate.


Clearly, the citizens who live in Upside-Down land, like Mitt Romney, are afflicted with the gravitational effects of having all the blood rush out of the heads and pool in their feet. But, it's not all bad residing in this disoriented state. Its citizens can proudly recite the words of one of their forefathers, Congressman Earl Landgrebe, who famously said-- "Don't confuse me with the facts. My mind's made up." Oops! Obviously, he meant "down". That's what happens in Upside-Down land. Things get flipped. What's false becomes true and vice-versa. 


There is one benefit (I almost said "upside") of living in such a place-- you can sometimes see Russia from your house! However, the price is simply too great. To live day after day with the torment of upside-down thinking must be awful. Ninety-nine percent of the world thinks differently than you do. Instead of logic being "truth-preserving" the logic of Upside-Downers values the contradiction as the source from which all things can be derived.


While I have sympathy for anyone living as an Upside-Downer, I do not believe the laws of the United States of America allow anyone to become its president who is not a natural born citizen. I do not know whether Willard Mitt Romney was born in Upside-Down land or not, but he's been residing there for quite some time. I think that he should be required to prove that he is NOT a citizen of Upside-Down land before he is allowed to seek the highest office in our country. And, here's the thing--if he can prove this negative (something that should be impossible) then it only goes to demonstrate that he MUST be an Upside-Downer. Furthermore, if he cannot prove this, then we should reject his campaign to seek the presidency.